All these years and all that has happened in my life, I constantly was searching for a way to simplify, let go and just enjoy. Some times this actually happens. We all have those moments. You've had them too. It just seems like so often we all get so involved in work, kids, significant others and what we "have to" do, that we don't stop and just laugh.
I watched Eat Pray Love today. I read the book years ago and have passed it on to many a friend because that book is life changing and that's the God's honest truth. I purposely skipped the chance to see it in the movie theater because I was worried that Julia Roberts would butcher it. I was worried the director would "Hollywood" it and alter it and it wouldn't be the same. So much so, I couldn't even buy it on DVD when it came out. I had to put on my Christmas list to have some one get it for me. Tonight, after having a far too hormonal of a day for anyone's good, the boys went out for a movie and dinner. The house was so quiet. I looked at the laundry that needed to be cleaned and folded. I looked at the bathroom that needed to be organized. I looked at my Anthropology book that needed to be read. I decided that Elizabeth Gilbert was calling to me instead. Although it does not resonate the way the novel did, it was still touching, thought provoking and made me realize I still worry WAY too much.
A couple of years ago, after endless searching for that thing to fill the hole that left me wanting, I found my church. A place where God spoke to me and for the first time, I really listened. I mean, don't get me wrong, it helped that I had an incredible life group that didn't mind that I was a "newbie" to the word and was willing to share their lives with me and teach me what it meant to let God truly be a part of everything. The love and comfort and enjoyment I had always longed for, I found. I learned to forgive myself for my mistakes. I learned to forgive the one person I never thought I could. I learned that there is no reason to be afraid of sharing everything with the person you love. If they're the person you're meant to be with, they'll love you all the more for it. (Sometimes after a good laugh, a good cry or putting their head in their hands and saying, "Okay, so that happened.") I feel like I grew so much through connecting to God and wondered what my life would've been like all this time if I had done this earlier. Would things have been easier? Things definitely would have been different. But I don't think that would've been the right path for me. I mean, let's face it, I've never taken the easy road if there's one right next too it that looks like more a challenge that might be a bigger adventure.
Regardless of how far I stray from God, he always invites me back with open arms and when I follow him, life is good. Even if things go wrong, things are still good because I know I am not trying to control my life, I am enjoying it, which brings me back to the opening of this bad boy. I've gotten to a point in my life where I know what I want and there's no doubt about it. I feel like the only thing that can hold me back from achieving those goals is me. So how do I stop thinking so much (a.k.a. worrying so much) about how and when I'm going to get there? Give it all to God. Then I can achieve the balance that I need to have the life that I want. If only that were an overnight process! LOL. Although being a mother has taught me about patience, when it comes to life changes it is NOT one of my strong suits. Out of curiosity, what do you all do to let go and how long does it work for you? What are the things you feel hold you back from accomplishing your goals and what do you think you can/would do to change it?
